Imperfections!

So... since my last post, I have tried a lot of new things. Some of these things include a sugar-free whole-food chocolate ice cream (delicious), cheesey flax crackers, almond butter, slender wine, and vodka. While I have been careful to stay very close to my daily carb limit, I have not been super conscientious; I have over-indulged in most of these new foods, occasionally missed out on exercise, I've had two nights of drinking plenty, and one night of drinking waaay too much (wherever you are Erika, I hope you're recovering as well).  I haven't "cheated" or gone back to my old way of eating, but I've definitely made some bad choices.

Before this way of eating, a week or two of this would literally cause a 4 to 6 pound weight gain that would never come off again. Like two summers ago, I gained six pounds on a week long vacation. And make no mistake; I never go crazy, eating whatever I want. We're talking healthy eating all day and extra exercise to allow for the occasional ice cream cone and more frequent wine drinking. Six pounds in one week!? Ridiculous.

But now, after two weeks of not-great-but-not-terrible eating habits, I have gained... brace yourself... 0.8 pounds! And since I know exactly how to take it back off again, I can SO live with that! I'm back to consuming plenty of water & veggies, and exercising consistently, and I have every faith that the weight will start dropping again. Maybe not right away or at the rate I want, but I am certain it will happen.

Doesn't this make more sense? If you eat semi-poorly, you don't deserve to lose weight. But it has always felt harsh that a few days of imperfect choices should ruin a month or more of really hard work. Now that I'm eating the way I always should have been eating, I can watch and better understand the cause and effect of my actions. I feel so at peace with this.

So in two days, I'm off to vacation in Michigan.  I'm going to hold off on the vodka (for like... ever), and diligently drink water and exercise. But I'm going to have that healthier-for-you ice cream whenever I have enough wiggle room to do so, and I'm going to drink moderate amounts of slender wine however many nights I wish. And I won't have to pay for that for three months or more when I get back.  In fact, I am secretly hoping to lose just a half pound over my week long vacation, just to say I did it. How cool would that be??  Wish me luck.  No, wish me a happy vacation- worse case scenario, I'll pick up where I left off when I return.

Ah life... I just really like it :)

The Daily Grind

Hello Blog.  It has been so long since our last visit.  This is because I finally stopped to make a list of what needs to be accomplished for my two-person-job by August 17th (yes, that really is our first day!). Since then, my summer has just not been the same.  I feel guilty for browsing the internet or playing solitaire, and starting an Agatha Christie *pause for longing sigh* is completely out of the question. Reality roused me from my sleeping-until-ten, absorbing-myself-in-Annabelle-and-Atkins existence to remind me that I am still a member of society with plenty of responsibilities.

Think that teaching middle school and high school choir can't possibly be that involved? Oh, think again! Now if I didn't care about my job, it's true that I would have another solid month of summer break... and a miserable nine months after that. My Gracious Father has blessed me with a passion, and a job in which to exhaust it, and I am extremely and intensely grateful. I'll take those simultaneously rewarding and frustrating twelve hour days over anything.

Meanwhile, I am absolutely not sacrificing my new way of eating (and my health), no matter how long my to-do list may be.  I am planning my meals, washing and cutting vegetables, and cooking (and cleaning dishes) very diligently. So worth the work to finally feel in control of my own appetite. AND, this morning marks exactly one month of eating this way; in celebration my scale informed me that I am seven pounds lighter for it!  In 3.6 pounds, I will be within the BMI limit for "normal weight," which is my first mini goal. Yay :)

Goodnight dear Blog. I promise to visit you sooner than last time. And I promise to try to bring a little less me to our next meeting :)

Plugging Away!

My goodness summer is flying by!  I need to get going on all of that school work I wanted to have finished before August.  Unfortunately, I am not the best cook; otherwise, this way of eating would be far less time consuming! After two and a half weeks I am down five pounds, which is soo wonderful for me.  My weight loss will slow down now (first two weeks are the fastest) but at least it is WORKING. I would love to lose a pound per week from here on out, but the average weight loss per week is between 1/2 and 2 pounds, so I'll probably sink down to a half pound per week.  I don't really mind because I am finally capable of controlling my weight- no random gains that never leave, no hard work for weeks and weeks with absolutely no change. 

My favorite food since I've started this is canned pumpkin at breakfast. Weird I know, but I put cinnamon, full-fat cream cheese, and sugar-free caramel in it, and it's like creamy pumpkin pie! My hubby likes it, and Annabelle desperately waits to lick the bowl every morning.  This friday I am increasing my net carbs to 25, and if that goes well I will move on re-introducing cherries, blueberries, almond butter, and slender wine. SO excited about that last one :)

I'm off to finally get started on some of that school work!

Feel the Burn :)

Tenth day of eating healthier whole foods (Atkins-style, hehe) and I have lost almost three pounds! For a normal person, that's great progress- for me, it's almost unbelievable. AND I should be starting my period any day now, so three pounds is really nothing to sneeze at.  I am very happy about this :)

All of the people on-line talk about the body's process of switching from primarily-carb burning to primarily-fat burning, and how it feels to experience that. They say one day you feel a sudden renewed energy that just never seems to go away. While it wasn't this big dramatic thing, today I ran a half mile within my 4 hour "power" walk, and after resuming walking for a minute or two, I felt really energized. I went home, dropped off our recycling, went grocery shopping, cooked & shredded chicken, cleaned the house a bit, took a shower, and still felt energized! I sure hope it lasts.

I discovered this website, yourlighterside.com, where there are tons of incredible low-carb whole-food recipes.  I made "bread" yesterday with whipped eggs, cream cheese, and cream of tartar.  We had them with our hamburgers, and my hubby loved them- he ate more of them than I did! Tonight I am trying this pizza crust made from minced chicken breast & mozzarella. It's supposed to turn out crispy and everything; I sure hope it does! We're going to top it with bacon and mushroom, mmm. Off to the kitchen... my, this way of eating has made me so domesticated :)

Day Four...

Okay. As I forget to mention my piano skills with all the new-way-of-eating hubub, let me start by saying that I am now sightreading hymns (albeit unsteadily and without a metranome) playing all four parts at once.  Thats like an embarrassing admission and a triumph all at once...

I am trying not to weigh myself too obsessively, but I started this new way of eating at 162.2.  So far it feels as though I have lost... nothing!  However, I believe I will eat this way for life because:

Main Reason:
I really believe this is the way our Creator intended for us to eat.
Other Reasons:
- I don't think about food anymore.  No cravings, no desire to eat outside of mealtimes.  At all.
- I am eating more variety now than before (sadly). Creative salads, meats, cheeses, veggies, fruit...
- I am cooking every night! Suddenly, I am taking 20-40 min to prepare dinner, and it's real food.
- Best tasting foods ever.  Hello fine aged cheeses... and kick ass salads... and REAL BUTTER

Also, I feel like I'm sticking-it-to-the-man in my own little way. Make healthy food more expensive? Fine, I'll buy the full-fat version. Carbs are money-makers-I-mean-healthy-for-you? Too bad - I reject that.  But that's not really a reason, it's more like a spiteful little jab...

AND it seems that on the real, healthy Atkins Diet, alcohol (without sugar or carbs) can be consumed in whatever quantity you want, and all that happens is you pause your weight loss. Yeah, that sounds a hell of a lot better than drinking wine ONE night and waking up with a 3-5 pound gain that never leaves.  But wine has sugars, you say?  Ah yes, but a winemaker in California discovered an all-natural process of using a natural "sweetener" found in grapes that has no sugars. The result is Slender Wine, in white red or blush for $10.99 per bottle.  I hear it's actually very good, but I don't care.  I WILL drink and enjoy Slender Wine in two weeks when I'm allowed.

And by the way, apparently Hollywood is obsessed with Slender Wine, even though it is slightly higher in calories than regular wine.  Wait, so all the famous beautifully skinny people actually care about carbs? Hmm...  :)

Happy Happy :)

Okay, day two of my whole foods / low-carb diet.  I really like it!  I'm satisfied after every meal or snack, I'm drinking tons of water, and I feel pretty good!  Interestingly, now that it's okay to eat whenever I want, I don't think about food so much.  I feel a bit more free already :)

And my food choices are actually really good-  I've had mushroom & onion omelets cooked in real butter (wow, real butter is amazing!), salads with avocados, olives, turkey, and aged cheeses.  I even made my own dressing with apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and a few spices.  My husband likes that I went all out on dinner last night- great salads and gourmet burgers with garlic, asiago cheese, onion, and spices.  Tonight we are going to grill asparagus spears and smothered chicken with parmesan, mushrooms & onions.

I miss my wine a bit, but I'm sleeping really good, and iced green tea is an acceptable substitute for now.  I think I'm going to check my weight tomorrow, just to make sure I haven't gained 4 lbs or something.  I don't expect to be losing weight yet- right now I'm just getting in the swing of eating really, really healthy.

My Thyroid Diet

By "diet" I mean my new way of eating for good, not the latest thing I'm trying just to see if it works.  I really believe in living this way! You hear all this crap in the news about how evil Atkins is, and how your body needs carbs to function... of course it does.  But it doesn't need even a fraction of what Americans consume daily. Our bodies should be using carbs and fat for energy, but we're so busy burning the hoards of carbs we consume that our bodies never have an opportunity to use the fat. (And the Atkins diet never suggests no carbs in the first place; in its most minimal phase you should still be having 20 NET carbs, and eventually should be having 75 net carbs or more, eating whole grains regularly.)  The only thing that is 'forbidden' for life is white rice and white flour.  I can live with that.

Plus, I believe that Jesus saves, and that God's grace is more beautiful than life itself.  And after that, I believe that the media is the cancer of the world. Politicians lie under the guise of supporting a cause, but the media lies, under the guise of reporting the truth! Deceit- evil in it's purest earthly form. So I'm not at all surprised that people are led to believe that the Atkins Diet consists of fatty meats, endless amounts of cheese, and lots of butter.  Sigh.

*dismounts soap box*

So saturday is my new start.  My fridge is filled with fresh vegetables and fruits, poultry, unprocessed cheeses, and eggs.  I've thrown out everything that has any traces of thyroid blockers, and I'm good to go.  Right now I don't even feel like I'll miss the sugary, carby foods.  But perhaps I'll feel differently this time next week :)

An Interesting Proposition (long one, sorry)

So... after wallowing in a state of hopeless despair over the (non)results of my efforts, I finally decided to search for some thyroid support websites. Why didn't I do that four years ago when I was diagnosed?  That is an excellent question to which I have no answer at all.  But this morning it finally occurred to me that the thousands of other people struggling with this disorder might have tried connecting on the world wide web. I've searched for info on minimizing symptoms, herbal supplements, etc. before, but I had never thought to check out a forum where people with thyroid disease communicate with each other.

It was so liberating to read the stories of other people like me! People that restrict calories, eat the right foods spaced out at the right times, exercise exorbitant amounts, and cannot lose an ounce. People whose doctors tell them that they'll just have to live with the way they are. I felt so hopeful. And after no more than five minutes in the first forum I read, I noticed that several people were saying that low-carb diets allowed them to live a more normal life- less fatigue, better mood, and a body that actually responds to exercise. 

The more I searched, the more specific the information.  Pretty soon I found myself on a page with a thread about how well the Atkins Diet works for people with thyroid disease. That got me thinking- a few years ago I read several chapters of the Atkins Book out of curiosity, and was surprised to find that it was actually a very healthy diet, not the eat-fatty-crap-all-day-and-never-eat-bread diet that we all see so often...By the 15th hypothyroid testimonial, I was sold. I'm in.

I'll blog more about it later, as I'm not starting it until Saturday (we are having an anniversary dinner with wine on Friday). All I can say right now is that its making a lot of sense to eat veggies, unprocessed meats & dairy, and untampered-with grains... just like people used to do before commercialism exploited the economy of bread products, and thus the concept of a balanced diet. I'm off to do some more reading on the subject :)

Week Two: You're Feeling...

In high school I read this Shape Magazine article about starting a fitness plan... it outlined how a dieter feels when making changes: "Day One: You're psyched... Day Three: You Feel Committed..." Somewhere down the line it said something like "You're Feeling Frustrated; all this work, and still nothing!" 

With hypothyroidism it's like I'm stuck in that frustrated phase;  I'm working very hard, using tons of self-control, and the scale doesn't move.  At... All...  But exercise, healthy foods, and self-control are three things that lead to lots of positives, even if weight loss doesn't get to be one of them.  Yet I am so tired of seeing my reflection in store windows!  The weight sits so stubbornly, like 'haha, I'm still here'  Whatever. I'm going to spend the whole summer fighting it nonetheless, because I crave those healthier habits. And I'll consider any pound lost to be a major victory. Pep Talk Complete.

Good Choices :)

Yesterday was a big triumph for me in terms of healthy eating. We drank wine, which is admittedly a difficult combination when dieting; hungry and uninhibited.  (...red wine is the one thing I'm not willing to give up, although I do only have it once or twice per week...) When we were finished with the wine, my husband went into the kitchen to make buttered popcorn, but I didn't want any.  He insisted I eat something after drinking, so I made a can of green beans and had a glass of decaf green tea.  Yay for health conscious late-night snacking!  It felt so freeing to see the extent of my resolve to eat healthier.  I know where all of those little not-so-healthy slips lead; a not-so-healthy diet, and no change at all.  Speaking of no change, my piano exercises don't feel so freeing. But I'll keep plugging away.  Slow and steady still wins the race.

Not a Moment Too Soon

Do you ever wish you were a better version of yourself?  I do.  I recently awoke in the night vomiting.  My husband woke up and came into the bathroom with me; as a married female in my late-twenties, the question was so obvious neither of us had to ask it aloud... am I pregnant?  Sitting on the bathroom floor, I considered why that question made me panic; I adore my husband, we are both on promising tracks for our careers, and I'm certain that I want to have children someday.  Why not now? I thought... Well, I'm just not the best version of myself yet... but then... What am I waiting for??

I soon discovered I wasn't pregnant, and found myself facing a perfect opportunity to break out of routine and begin each day with purpose.  While perfection is unattainable, working hard to improve is a beautiful thing.  My most obvious down-falls are my poor piano skills and my weight; and what better time to start than summer break?  I weigh 162 lbs, and I struggle to sightread piano with one hand at a time on metranome mark 40. 

So for the past week I've been working out one to two hours every morning (except Sundays), and making healthy eating choices while restricting calories.  I have hypothyroidism (slow metabolism) so I know it's an uphill battle, but I'm not giving up.  After my morning workout, I sightread hymns with a metranome for 15 minutes every week day.  I rarely enjoy this routine, but I welcome the challenge.  Through experience I have affirmed that anything worth doing is indeed hard work.